how to figure out your truth
It was my commitment to myself and my creativity for years to put out a blog post every Tuesday. I remember when I wrote a post called “What do you do when you just don’t frickin’ feel like it?“ but as you may or may not have noticed, I let go of that commitment a few months ago.
As I’ve been on the journey into intimacy for the past year, leaning into difficult conversations and uncomfortable relationships, I’ve questioned my understanding of commitment to tribe and relationship.
Is commitment about sticking through something no matter what?
So many “shoulds” and “have tos” and “must dos” and a life full of obligations and no freedom.
Or is commitment about honoring yourself and speaking your truth no matter how painful?
And what is “speaking your truth” anyway when you may be telling yourself a story vs. your actual truth? And then there is “my truth” and “the universal truth”.
Here’s my definition of truth telling: The truth is whatever is real for you in the moment, based on you being responsible for your experience without projecting, blaming, or shaming.
And what is real for you can change.
That knot in your stomach may be a “no” because it doesn’t serve your highest good, or it could be resistance because it will absolutely serve your highest good.
So what’s the test?
How do you figure this out?
Life is one big mirror reflection
I have let go of the notion of “right and wrong” and have begun to see that the universe is constantly self-correcting.
So whatever choice you make is absolutely the perfect choice and will give you exactly what you need. And the universe will support you in whatever choice you make.
Relax. Let go. Trust. Life is about the journey not the destination.
Dismiss the messenger, Get the message
I’m going through The Presence Process (highly recommend it) and one of the lessons is to notice when you are getting triggered and to let go of pointing the finger and blaming so that you can get the message that is being delivered to you.
I’ve noticed recently some patterns with my relationship with men and my relationship with cars.
Instead of being victim of car repairs and breakups, I’m choosing to see why the universe keeps giving me the same message over and over again. And this time, I want to get it so I can grow and evolve emotionally and spiritually.
If you aren’t connected to your why, or your why changes, drop it
Underneath every commitment is a vision, or a why. The stronger the why, the stronger the commitment.
Visions and whys change. As you grow and evolve, your interests change. What once served you may no longer be relevant.
Time is speeding up and shifts are happening so quickly in 2013 that what may have felt like a glove fit a month ago is already worn out. It’s time to move on.
If the inspiration is not there, either upgrade/rediscover it, or let go of the commitment.
We are all connected
The opportunity here is to see the connection between all things. We are all connected.
So letting go of a commitment to a tribe or a person does not mean that you have to disconnect completely.
In a world where disconnection and isolation are the norm, our opportunity as conscious contributors is to honor, love and respect one another. To see our connection no matter how triggering the relationship may be because the people who trigger us the most are our greatest teachers. The messengers are delivering a message … and it may be exactly the message you need to go to the next stage in your development.
Up next …
One of my favorite things in the world is interviewing. Both being the interviewee and interviewer.
It’s the connector in me. And when I discovered Google Hangout I went nuts.
Join me tomorrow for “Conversations About Leading In Truth” at 12pm PST.
I’ll be speaking with my sister Lindsay Hinton on “how to have difficult conversations in partnership.” This will be a very vulnerable and real dialogue that I think will have tremendous value since it’s the thing that you want: how to speak your truth.
You can watch for *free* over here.
What’s your thought on commitment and truth? Would love to hear your comments below: