how to figure out your truth

by / Tuesday, 29 October 2013 / Published in Blog

It was my commitment to myself and my creativity for years to put out a blog post every Tuesday. I remember when I wrote a post called “What do you do when you just don’t frickin’ feel like it? but as you may or may not have noticed, I let go of that commitment a few months ago.

As I’ve been on the journey into intimacy for the past year, leaning into difficult conversations and uncomfortable relationships, I’ve questioned my understanding of commitment to tribe and relationship.

Is commitment about sticking through something no matter what?

So many “shoulds” and “have tos” and “must dos” and a life full of obligations and no freedom.

Or is commitment about honoring yourself and speaking your truth no matter how painful?

And what is “speaking your truth” anyway when you may be telling yourself a story vs. your actual truth? And then there is “my truth” and “the universal truth”.

Here’s my definition of truth telling: The truth is whatever is real for you in the moment, based on you being responsible for your experience without projecting, blaming, or shaming.

And what is real for you can change.

That knot in your stomach may be a “no” because it doesn’t serve your highest good, or it could be resistance because it will absolutely serve your highest good.

So what’s the test?
How do you figure this out?

Life is one big mirror reflection

I have let go of the notion of “right and wrong” and have begun to see that the universe is constantly self-correcting.

So whatever choice you make is absolutely the perfect choice and will give you exactly what you need. And the universe will support you in whatever choice you make.

Relax. Let go. Trust. Life is about the journey not the destination.

Dismiss the messenger, Get the message

I’m going through The Presence Process (highly recommend it) and one of the lessons is to notice when you are getting triggered and to let go of pointing the finger and blaming so that you can get the message that is being delivered to you.

I’ve noticed recently some patterns with my relationship with men and my relationship with cars.

Instead of being victim of car repairs and breakups, I’m choosing to see why the universe keeps giving me the same message over and over again. And this time, I want to get it so I can grow and evolve emotionally and spiritually.

If you aren’t connected to your why, or your why changes, drop it

Underneath every commitment is a vision, or a why. The stronger the why, the stronger the commitment.

Visions and whys change. As you grow and evolve, your interests change. What once served you may no longer be relevant.

Time is speeding up and shifts are happening so quickly in 2013 that what may have felt like a glove fit a month ago is already worn out. It’s time to move on.

If the inspiration is not there, either upgrade/rediscover it, or let go of the commitment.

We are all connected

The opportunity here is to see the connection between all things. We are all connected.

So letting go of a commitment to a tribe or a person does not mean that you have to disconnect completely.

In a world where disconnection and isolation are the norm, our opportunity as conscious contributors is to honor, love and respect one another. To see our connection no matter how triggering the relationship may be because the people who trigger us the most are our greatest teachers. The messengers are delivering a message … and it may be exactly the message you need to go to the next stage in your development.

Up next …

One of my favorite things in the world is interviewing. Both being the interviewee and interviewer.

It’s the connector in me. And when I discovered Google Hangout I went nuts.

Join me tomorrow for “Conversations About Leading In Truth” at 12pm PST.

I’ll be speaking with my sister Lindsay Hinton on “how to have difficult conversations in partnership.” This will be a very vulnerable and real dialogue that I think will have tremendous value since it’s the thing that you want: how to speak your truth.

You can watch for *free* over here.

What’s your thought on commitment and truth? Would love to hear your comments below:

3 Responses to “how to figure out your truth”

  1. Michele PW says : Reply

    Love this Tanya — especially with what we shared together at Conscious Biz Playground. I’m getting more real in my emails as well — excited to see how this is all coming together.

  2. Jill Marie says : Reply

    Well I will say I took myself off or your list some time ago to lighten my inbox overwhelm…but last few days I have been thinking about you quite a bit and thought this would be a good time to seek you out again at this time in my life. Then BAM there you are in my inbox without me having to do anything….talking about a topic that I am currently going through…WOW you are good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. I appreciate the perspective and find a lot to agree with. I recent;y took nearly an 8-month hiatus from writing to my list — as a conscious choice — to focus on a personal priority. I felt that if I was going to really give myself a chance with the new project, I needed to be 100% committed to it without any distractions — including a lot of the marketing routines that go along with be a conscious-preneur.

    I had great success with my personal project (ongoing) and recently felt that I was now ready to refresh and restart some business activities — but on different terms than before . . . doing ONLY that which feels truly inspired!

    I’m much happier overall and once again feel excited about my coaching business because I’m focused on what I LOVE — not what I feel I “should” be doing.

    We are change agents and thought leaders and it can be a bit scary being a pioneer in this world . . . but I believe it’s part of the journey we agreed to and it’s sure one helluva ride!

    Rainbow Blessings to you!

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