What to do when you just don’t feel like working
Truth be told, I haven’t felt like doing much since my wedding a few weeks ago. All I’ve wanted to do is lay in bed, read, and play with Kali.
It’s not like I was not working. Through it all, I still led my Monday advanced circle, Wednesday Virtual Mastermind and Thursday Facilitator Training.
But I had absolutely no motivation to do anything else. In fact, I caught a case of doubtitis: you can’t have it all, Tanya. You’ve got to give up working to be a mother. Who do you think you are?
Have you ever had the experience of not wanting to do a thing, struggling to get out of bed? Feeling pressure to work, but unmotivated and uninspired? Feeling like you’ve got no right to make a difference for others, like you should give up your hopes and dreams right now?
Don’t worry. You are not alone. It is normal to feel this way and there is nothing wrong.
The old model of leadership teaches us that we’re lazy if we aren’t being productive working 8-6 everyday. We should be ashamed of ourselves if we want to sleep all day long. You must be depressed and need to be cured. You are a failure.
That’s not the truth. So let’s look from an empowering lens of what’s going on and what to do about it …
Tired vs. Resistant
You may be genuinely tired or you may be resistant, either way, you need to ease off and not force.
One of the biggest signs of resistance is tiredness, sleepiness or drowsiness. You’ve come up against an edge and you don’t have the energy for it. That’s ok.
The key here is not to push through it and burn out your nervous system, but to take a moment to rest, reflect and recharge. What part of me doesn’t want to move forward? What am I afraid of? What isn’t feeling good?
For me, I know my next steps and they feel overwhelming. One is to fine tune our infrastructure, one of my least favorite things to do in business. The other is to put together our Feminine Leader Summit in January, inspiring but a lot of work.
So of course I felt tired thinking about these things, which was a form of my resistance.
On the other hand, I am genuinely tired from putting on a wedding with 175 people while having a 6 month-old baby. No small feat. It took everything out of me.
I needed a break, which my body was clearly telling me to do when it broke down and got sick.
But as I rested, I kept my eye on my vision. I didn’t quit or give up.
I fed my creativity with some good books. I honored my natural rhythm. There was no coincidence that when I got sick I was also on my period. I went internal knowing that I would once again go external.
ACTION: Take rest. Allow yourself to recharge. Reflect and empty out on paper or to a friend. Commit to yourself that you won’t give up, but will take this moment to build yourself up.
Even though I caught doubtitis (which wanted to wreak havoc on my dreams), I continued to keep my third eye open to my vision. To keep myself focused in the middle of chaos, sickness and lethargy, I created an intention statement.
My intention statements are SMART goals that gets to the heart of the matter in what you are creating. It has a date, a specific measurable result and a way of being.
For example: By October 31, I am spacious in my queen energy and will attract 20 partners for my launch.
ACTION: Get clear and pick one thing to stay focused and aligned.
Clean Up Your Space
As I got clear on my intention for the next month, I realized how many things were in my space that were not in alignment.
So I started to cancel things and make space. As a new mom, I don’t have the time or energy that I did a year ago. I have to use my discernment.
If it is not supporting my intention statement, then I’m politely declining. For now.
Everything that is incomplete, is also taking up energy. You can’t attract something into a cluttered space. Is there a relationship that needs resolving? A phone call I have been meaning to make that I’ve put off? What’s out of integrity that needs to get cleaned up?
ACTION: Say no. Clear your plate. Clean up your integrity.
The more I clear, the more energy I have. The more space I create, the more excited I get. I contain myself and continue to rest and let my energy build until it just becomes natural and fluid for me to take action. I’m learning to move with my energy, to cultivate it, to harness it and to channel it.
I trust the process. Because it is a process that has a cycle and a rhythm.
And because I stuck with it and never gave up, my energy comes back and I want to become external.
Because I didn’t force it, I have more power.
Because I didn’t make it wrong, I have more power.
Because I did the inner work, I have more power.
And I feel like working again.